Target?

I'm selling out to The Man... as circumstances would have it. I didn't want to try for this job at Target for a lot of reasons... but things in life have come up and now I have an interview on Wednesday. How's that? When this girl goes, this girl tends to go overboard... lol. I also applied for a teaching positions in Seoul, Madrid, and Hong Kong. Seoul got back to me this weekend... crazy huh?

So I've been in my "Quarter Life Crisis" for the past year now... and I'm getting sick and tired of everyone asking me" "So what do you want to do with your life?" The answer always is "I don't know =( =( =(" Then I realized yesterday that this answer, in fact, is a lie because I do know what I want to do, BUT:

There is a current and constant war between what I want and what I want.

1. I want to take in the world. I want to learn. I want to teach. I want to meet awesome, awesome people. I want to experience life to the fulliest (of what my pocketbook can afford at the time... lol). I want to be a part in the construction of God's Kingdome.
2. I want to be in the will of God.

And until #1 corresponds with and is in submission to #2, I'm not going to get either.

A huge part of me wants God to deny me the job at Target and really struggle to make ends meet... because my awareness of the necessity of God comes with being aware of my needs. But then I remember the words of Jeff Adams in Amsterdam... that it's okay to make mistakes.... it all goes into God's plan. I have to fail to succeed.

The Green Letters is awesome, by the way. I haven't picked up the book in a week, but I'm only 50 pages into it and it's already a meal-full to digest. Praise the Lord for the two-part redemption found in the Cross.