I will come into thy house in the multitude of thy mercy:
and in thy fear will I worship toward the holy temple.
--Psalm 5:7
At the beginning of last week in the span of two days, I started and finished a book called The Heavenly Man. It is an autobiography on Liu Zhenying, or more commonly known as "Brother Yun," one of the leaders of the house church networks in China. It's a book that I have to read again so I can study it more in depth, but here is an excerpt from the book from one of the times when Brother Yun was in prison for the Gospel:
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The next morning the guards opened the cell door and took us out into the yard. There was a thick layer of snow on the ground. They released the handcuffs from my four brothers. They told them, "You must clear all the snow in the yard. But this crazy 'heavenly man' will not have his handcuffs removed. Last night he created an uproar and kept us awake with his singing and drumming."
The chief guard waved his electric baton in front of my face and said, "Now is the time for you to wake up!" He ordered me to kneel down before him. I loudly protested, "I will not kneel down before you. I will only kneel down before my God!"
He arrogantly stated, "I am your Lord! I am your God! If you kneel down before me I can release you immediately."
I spoke angrily to him, "In the name of Jesus, you are not my God! You are just an earthly officer. My Lord is in heaven. I am a heavenly man."
He turned on the power switch on his baton and snarled, "If you are a heavenly man then you won't be afraid of this electric baton. Come! Use your hand and take hold of it!"
Several guards grabbed my arms and forced me to stretch out my hand. In an instant I was stung with hundreds of volts of electric current, like the sting of a scorpion or as if a thousand arrows had pierced my heart. Feeling I was about to pass out, I cried out, "Lord, have mercy on me!"
Immediately the electric baton malfunctioned! They couldn't get it to work!
I opened my eyes and stared at the guard who'd dared to call himself "God." He was terrified. Despite the temperature, he was sweating! He turned and ran away as fast as he could!"
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Knowing that "mercy" is not getting what we deserve from God, I was wondering why Brother Yun would say something like "Lord, have mercy on me!" while he was suffering for his faith. It doesn't seem to make sense, because it's not like Brother Yun deserved any of the anguish that the prison guard was inflicting upon him. Why would Brother Yun ask for mercy for something that he obviously did not deserve? Why not just ask from help from the Lord? Why mercy?
Later in the book, Brother Yun quotes Matthew 10:28:
And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
I know that the eternal part of me, my soul, cannot be destroyed in hell. I know that the worst that anyone can do to me is to the parts of me that are temporal, like my body, like my pride. Then why Brother Yun asked for mercy and not for help began to make sense. I know that I deserve hell for the ways that I have sinned and will continue to sin against the Most High God. That even if something were to begin to destroy my body here on earth, I would deserve it as much as I would deserve it in hell. God's mercy is every bit as applicable from saving me from suffering on earth as it already has saved me from suffering in hell.
Wow...
And this is life eternal,
that they might know thee the only true God,
and Jesus Christ,
whom thou has sent.
-- John 17:3
Eternal life began for me the day that I got saved in my dorm room at Hong Kong Baptist University. The day my eternal life began is the day that I became dead to sin. To renounce my life, even to the extent of the physicality of it, should have happened the day that I gained life in Christ. Slowly, yet surely, God continues to give me the grace and mercy to trust Him, and in turn to truly not fear what man can do unto me.
