Reckless Abandon

You know those times when God teaches a lesson, then confirms it over and over and over again? Before I knew it, 2008 is almost a third over, and God is confirming over and over again what it means to live by reckless abandon.

To be completely honest, I had forgotten what "reckless abandon" meant, even though it is the first of three things that I am expecting from God in 2008. Bad, huh? Oswald Chambers reminded me today of what it means in My Utmost for His Highest, flooding back the memory of Jeff Adam's sermon that sparked the inspiration earlier this year:

Are you prepared to abandon entirely and let go? The test of abandonment is in refusing to say - "Well what about this?" Beware of supposition. Immediately you allow - What about this? - it means you have not abandoned, you do not really trust God. Immediately you do abandon, you think no more of what God is going to do. Abandon means to refuse yourself the luxury of asking any questions... When you do get through to abandonment to God, you will be the most surprised and delighted creature on earth; God has got you absolutely and has given you your life. If you are not there, it is either because of disobedience or a refusal to be simple enough.

There is something that I have to abandon to God. I might finally have some direction in life and it's got a lot of potential, but I must not worry about the steps. To worry is to not trust.

God's teaching me the simple. So here am I, going back to basics.

Staying in Kansas City

So if you know me at all, you know I love to travel -- specifically outside of the States. Well, within a month I have turned down two opportunities to leave Kansas City for a year to teach English abroad.

God has me here in Kansas City.

This has been a difficult thing for me to swallow, especially with the circumstances surrounding me that make it even more tempting to leave.

But today, I saw the flowers blooming on the one tree outside of our house. It was so beautiful. So even though there is a whole world out there, God told me that there is a whole world in here where He's kept me.

Praise God.

3 Lessons...

My students this session are the five kids who have the highest English skill in our school. At the beginning of the session, I told them that I have three goals for our class. They are:

1. Learn English at a challenging pace
2. Talk with Tk
3. Be a good role model

The first goal is obvious. The second goal has to do with me wanting to know about their days and hear their stories, so that they know that someone cares for them and wants to listen to them while they are so far away from their homes and their families during a huge period of growth and development mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually in their lives.

As part of being a good role model, I've been trying to teach them two things: being grateful and appreciating other people. I'm teaching them gratefulness by having them say things like "thank you" when I give them candy (candy, btw, is a great initiator of good behavior!) I will be teaching them how to appreciate people by having them write out thank you cards to people here that have helped them in one way or another (also giving me a writing assignment for them!)

The funny thing is though, it always seems like the teacher learns more than the students. Yes... the teacher became the student. This is what God did. He took:

Talk time with Tk and told me that I need to learn to talk to Him. My prayer life needs to be seamless, needs to be continuous, needs to be fulfilling.

Being grateful. I need to offer God more sacrifices of thanksgiving, because that is His will for me, because that is how my heart is ruled by the peace of God, because that is half of the whole of faith.

Appreciating people. I need to edify more of the people in my life, because we are to love one another, teach one another, admonish one another in songs and hymns.

The Lord is gracious and
Slow to anger
He is
Rich in love
He is
Good to all
Great is the Lord...
So worthy of praise
Great is the Lord...

I love life...

For the past two or three weeks, I've experienced intimacy with God like never before. It's ONLY by His grace... and by those prayers that He led me to pray.

And incidently, I've spent more time, and quality time at that, with my parents during this past two or three weeks than I have in almost a decade.

Only goes to show me how interconnected those two things are.

Praise God.