So remember Gina from the previous post?
BEFORE:
AFTER:
HELLO BETTY!
Ha, yes believe it or not, I have before and after shots for Betty too....
BEFORE:
She’s a little ugly (Ugly Betty)
But she’s still hot (Clueless – Betty (adjective) a hot chick)
AFTER: (Yes, this chick hit my parked car a week after I bought and financed it myself...)
There really is a fine line between doing your best for God (Psalm 119:1) realizing that your best will never be enough, whether or not you choose to see it. Since I had last written, many a thing has happened to me in my life, including buying a new computer, buying a new car, having a lady slam into my new car a week later, two or three shifts in what could be labeled a “love life” but really it’s just my sad little attempt at overcoming my fear of commitment and battling the winter blues that have happened to me annually since I’ve moved from the Southwest to this God-forsaken part of the country. In the past three weeks, my prayer life and my quiet time with God has been in shambles, and I had yet again broken my commitment to God. How far and how deep really is the grace of God? He, the holiest of holies, came as dirt to the earth and died in poverty for my sin, yes, I am His daughter. I have gone astray like a lost sheep… seek thy servant O LORD… for I do not forget Thy commandments unto me. But really, we can get down on ourselves or have others do it for us, but when it’s all said and done, only God can change us. Ha, His Word said it best…
Isaiah 64:6
But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.
But really, when I get to this point in my life, one of the things I am most grateful for is that He disciplines me, which makes me know that I am His daughter. In the five years that I thought that I was saved between the 15th and 20th years of my life, well I look back on those years and I realize that there was no spiritual growth, no agonizing as God refines me…
So, the million dollar question happens to be: WHAT AM I MISSING HERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I mean granted, Betty didn't blow up, but really, God what are you telling me?
P.S. I’ve also dreamed two nights in a row that I was pregnant and gave birth… two nights ago it was by natural birth, and last night it was by C-section. So second question: What in the world does that mean?!?
Come to Me
So taking this completely out of context, I really hope that the first will be the last and the last will be the first. Which verse is the most important, the first or the last in the famous Psalm 119?
Psalm 119:1
Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the LORD.
Psalm 119:176
I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments.
Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the LORD.
Psalm 119:176
I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments.
There really is a fine line between doing your best for God (Psalm 119:1) realizing that your best will never be enough, whether or not you choose to see it. Since I had last written, many a thing has happened to me in my life, including buying a new computer, buying a new car, having a lady slam into my new car a week later, two or three shifts in what could be labeled a “love life” but really it’s just my sad little attempt at overcoming my fear of commitment and battling the winter blues that have happened to me annually since I’ve moved from the Southwest to this God-forsaken part of the country. In the past three weeks, my prayer life and my quiet time with God has been in shambles, and I had yet again broken my commitment to God. How far and how deep really is the grace of God? He, the holiest of holies, came as dirt to the earth and died in poverty for my sin, yes, I am His daughter. I have gone astray like a lost sheep… seek thy servant O LORD… for I do not forget Thy commandments unto me. But really, we can get down on ourselves or have others do it for us, but when it’s all said and done, only God can change us. Ha, His Word said it best…
Isaiah 64:6
But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.
But really, when I get to this point in my life, one of the things I am most grateful for is that He disciplines me, which makes me know that I am His daughter. In the five years that I thought that I was saved between the 15th and 20th years of my life, well I look back on those years and I realize that there was no spiritual growth, no agonizing as God refines me…
Proverb 17:3
The refining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but the LORD trieth the hearts.
The more I live this life as a redeemed child of God, the more I see that there is a lot left of me that is imperfect, that I will live my life to mess it up, because that’s all I, my flesh, knows to do. Thank God through Jesus Christ that He works on me and continues to want to use me… despite of me.
Romans 7:14-25
For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I
allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin
that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I
would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no
more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good,
evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.
For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I
allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin
that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I
would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no
more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good,
evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.
So here is what I find at the end of all of this reflection:
Do I really want to get there? I can right now. The questions that truly matter in life are remarkably few, and they are all answered by these words— "Come to
Me." Our Lord’s words are not, "Do this, or don’t do that," but— "Come to me." If I will simply come to Jesus, my real life will be brought into harmony with my real desires. I will actually cease from sin, and will find the song of the Lord beginning in my life.
-- Oswald Chambers
But even when I am so messed up that I don’t know how to come to God… and if all that’s left of me is my pitiful cry for Him to seek me and find me, He’d do it, wouldn’t He?
